These past months have brought many troubles, downs, a few ups and blessings, worries and grief. A summer spent waiting for my mother to get out of the hospital- and helping take care of her practically full time when she returned home. She's doing so much better. A whole month spent with my husband to be- until his family had him put away deliberately. Just the other day he was released, but not fully freed. When he's truly free, he'll be home in Oregon, preparing for our next steps- marital, legal, and beyond. Our life together... something we truly look forward to. But on Saturday the 13th, our worlds were shaken- and a big part of our lives crumbled. My eldest brother, Phillip found his wife that fateful day when he woke up- cold, lifeless. She had died of a morphine overdose. Shock, grief, disbelief. Why her? Why? What were her intentions that day? She would have been turning 22 this November. She was only 21. Marissa Anne Davison was only a baby, as my mother said. Sh had been accepted in to our family, and she fit in so well.
She was cremated yesterday, I came to visit her beforehand. I wanted to tell her goodbye, not only for me- but for Ralph. He wanted to see his darkie friend one last time, but couldn't come down to Oregon- and we were told what was to happen so suddenly... at the last minute practically. Only people within the household really had the time to fly across town to see her before she was turned to ash. Even after telling her goodbye yesterday, I still can't believe it. Things will never be the same anymore. I can't even hardly listen to the Beatles without crying... she loved them. She loved Phillip and he loved her. Even her neighbors bawled for her. She was so well-loved... she helped so many people too... she worked with the elderly and the mentally disabled. She worked and worked to try and live a god life. She was my sister. I just can't believe that I just lost my sister. I still can't. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her. The only comfort I can think of is that she can finally rest now. She always worked so hard to support my brother and herself and their pets. But now I know that she can sleep. God, I miss her. I still can't fathom this great loss that fills me and everyone else with sorrow.